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Best in the game: A conversation with Michael Bryant's mustache

By NICHOLAS MURRAY -, 06/15/22, 11:00AM EDT


One of the major new additions to the league’s landscape is ready to shine in the national spotlight on Saturday

Imitated, but never duplicated. The mustache of Detroit City FC's Michael Bryant has quickly become an icon in the USL Championship this season. | Photo courtesy Jon DeBoer / Detroit City FC

One of the most important newcomers to the USL Championship this season will get its first appearance on national television this Saturday as Detroit City FC plays host to El Paso Locomotive FC in the first regular season contest in Championship history to air on ESPN.

Yes, we’re talking about Michael Bryant’s mustache.

From the center of the park at Keyworth Stadium to the capo stand leading chants for the club’s USL W League side this season, Bryant’s ‘stache has established itself as the foremost example of facial hair in the league.

We recently caught up with Michael Bryant’s mustache for an exclusive Q&A.

Patrolling the midfield at Keyworth Stadium this season, Michael Bryant's mustache adds to the legacy of great soccer mustaches that have come before. | Photo courtesy Jon DeBoer / Detroit City FC

Q: You're pretty new on the scene from what I understand. What's it been like grabbing the spotlight in the USL championship this year?

MICHAEL BRYANT’S MUSTACHE: It’s nothing I expected it to be. You know, being a newcomer on the block, the “rise to fame” happened pretty quick and it caught on really quick. Like I said, it grows on me and it’s growing on other people.

Q: I saw a moment, I think it was in the Open Cup, where you asserted your superior qualities to an opponent. What makes you superior to other mustaches?

MBM: Yeah, his mustache. I won’t name any names, but his mustache was looking right at me. He had some words to say, and I had to give him a little a little thumbs down real quick. I had to assert my dominance over him and his little flaky, whatever that thing is on his face. I knew I had to step in and assert my dominance and just let them know who’s here to stay.

Q: Mustaches over beards right?

MBM: Oh, yes. Yes, mustaches over beards any day. Any day.

Q: Do you have any role models?

MBM: Role models? Yes. My father. King of Kings mustache. He has a beautiful mustache. My brother, you know, they both work in the fire department. And they both have mustaches. Really, really nice mustaches. So, that's just like in the family, I would say. But you know if you've ever seen the movie, Super Troopers, or Reno 911? Those, those are some inspiring dudes I must say.

Rising above the rest, Michael Bryant's mustache is the gold standard not just in the USL Championship but in professional sports around the globe. | Photo courtesy Jacob Rhodes / Pittsburgh Riverhounds SC

Q: I want to do some word association with some great footballing mustaches. Tell me what comes to mind when I mention these names.

Graeme Souness?  

MBM: Legend.

Q: Roberto Rivelino?

MBM: Probably one of my favorites.

Q: Rudi Voeller?

MBM: Pretty good. Pretty good.

Q: Pablo Mastroeni.

MBM: Of course, of course, that's one of the best.

Q: Ted Lasso?

MBM: Ah, I figured this one was coming. Perfect.

The combination of Antoine Hoppenot's flow and Michael Bryant's mustache offers a devastating one-two punch for opposing sides. | Photo courtesy Jon DeBoer / Detroit City FC

Q: You share a locker room with Antoine Hoppenot’s flow. Is it challenging to have that much awesome in the same space?

MBM: No. We complement each other very well. We sit next to each other in the locker room as well, so we kind of feed off each other's stash and flow. It just it goes really, really well together.

Q: What do you envision your future in the game is going to look like?

MBM: My future in the game is I’m going to be the best mustache in the game, in all the leagues, no matter who tries to compete with me. Don’t get me wrong, I would love to see more people compete, but I would always remain number one.

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